Self-Care is Not Selfish

How many of us have fallen into the dark hole of letting ourselves go in motherhood? Oh, how I wish I could raise my hand a million times! That was me, I was it… The momma that did not think it was important to look, feel, or be an individual outside of mommy. I have 3 kids 3 and under who in the world wants to look for a new lipstick color when I have the latest toy to hunt down? That was my thought exactly, the world stopped for me, and was now solely about my children and their happiness. One day, someone told me “I have not seen you in so long you used to be so pretty I didn’t notice you”. Now I know, how rude is that to say to someone, but honestly as nasty as that statement was it was a little eye opener for me! It was deeper than my appearance. My insides were not being taken care of either. Mentally I was drained and did want to take the TIME to figure out what was going on within my own brain-my own body- my own spirit. I went through a phase where I not only did not know how to love myself, but I did not even know what to require in my marriage. It was at that point I saw how me not loving myself, not taking the time for me, and even him not taking care of him totally drove us both insane. One day a dear friend of mine told me these words… “you have to know that taking care of you has to be a priority, when you do not feel your best, you cannot be your best. These babies need and deserve your best.” If I am being honest it took a long time for me to not have as much mom guilt as I did in the very beginning. I was so deep in that guilt I would not even buy myself non nursing bras! It took time, and realization. I had to remember that I am still an individual. As moms we carry so much on our shoulders, the plate is constantly and consistently full. There must be an escape method, for your sanity (eventually everyone else’s sanity too)! Self- care is so much more than hair and nails. Mentally, emotionally, spiritually we must take care of ourselves. So much comes from within, do not forget for the big systems to work the little ones must be maintained first. When I look back so much could have been avoided if I would have just loved and appreciated myself just a little more. Even in my marriage, a lot of issues could have been resolved way better if I would have just been in a better space myself. My grandma used to tell me that women set the tone and temperature of the relationship and the house, I am now starting to see how pieces of that statement really contained truth. Stop beating yourself down so hard, you are human, and you are fearfully and wonderfully made- Psalm 139:14. I had to love me better so HE could love me better and vice versa. My faith is different, demand, walk, talk, ideals, everything is… different, IMPROVED. I want you to think about this, how many things in your life would be altered if you just took a little more time to indulge in yourself. A little more time focusing on the pieces that can come together to build a better version of you. You are not just who you are, situations are not just what they are, it is what we allow them to be. Everyday I pray that whoever is reading this you get up and choose joy, and that on this day you will take yet another step towards being the best you possible!